Community Corner A Club No One Wants To Join: Marking Pregnancy And Infant Loss Awareness Month One in four pregnancies ends in a miscarriage, medical experts say. That statistic isn’t a comfort to those of us who have suffered losses.
The loss of a pregnancy can be incredibly isolating, because as a society we do not handle grief well at all. (Shutterstock)
Oct. 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I originally wrote a note on social media in 2009 sharing my thoughts after having suffered multiple miscarriages. Fifteen years later, much of what I felt then is what I feel today. For anyone who has suffered the loss of a pregnancy, please know you are not alone.
— Karen Wall Over my lifetime, I have belonged to many clubs. High school clubs, Girl Scouts, PTA, the local soccer club and an animal rescue. They were clubs I willingly joined. I paid dues. I donned a whistle. I cuddled kittens that needed homes.
Then there’s the club that chose me. It’s not one I wanted to belong to. In fact, I never gave it much thought before I joined. But it is without question one of the most influential clubs in my life. Twenty-two years after I joined, I still wish I didn’t belong.
It was a pleasant September day in 2002 when I was recruited. We were a year removed from the terrorist attacks of 9-11, and while the mood of the nation was somber, I was distracted by the happy feelings I had of a new life growing within that I knew would complete our family perfectly. Then the unthinkable happened. I began spotting blood. The life inside me was in trouble. We went to the hospital. There was the baby, 8 weeks gestation, waving, its heart beating strong and sure. I felt relief. I went home with instructions to rest. I laid in bed and tried not to worry but the bleeding worsened. Panic set in.
Back to the hospital. Another ultrasound. The stoic look on the technician’s face and the monitor whose screen I could not see said it all: That life was no more. The doctor’s words echoed in my head.
A Club No One Wants To Join: Marking Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month
