‘Gymbro’ Got Annoyed at ‘Fat Friend’ for Flaking on Fitness Plans

A self-described “average gymbro” said he’s fed up with his “medically obese” friend who keeps asking for fitness advice — and never takes it.
In a post on Reddit’s AITA forum — where people ask for feedback on social dilemmas — a Redditor by the name of Thursdxy asked if they were in the wrong “for telling my fat friend stop talking about getting in shape.”
“Little background information about myself: I am in good physical shape. I diet and meal prep. Pretty much your average gymbro. My friend on the other hand is medically obese and a gamer,” Thursdxy wrote. Sporadically, Thursdxy said, his friend will “go on about how he wants to change his life, get in shape, diet and be consistent in the gym. Then he’ll ask me for the same advice I gave countless times. Complain about his life and why he’s fat. Ultimately, he’ll ask me to start taking him to the gym. He’ll go like one time then just flake out and not go again. He’ll then randomly start complaining that I never take him. Then he’ll give up and repeat this process.”
The poster said he’s gone above and beyond in the past: “I have made workout programs for him. Pep talks. Meal prep suggestions and directions,” but now, he said, he’s “sick of it.”
“I told him this time something along the lines of ‘stop asking me for help, you never take my advice and blame your circumstances on your past.’ “
In response, the gamer pal approached a mutual friend and claimed that the poster “doesn’t want to take me [to the gym] and help me.”
Thursdxy admitted that he unloaded his frustration on his pal. “I went on to tell him he has no self control, no accountability, he is a hedonist and he blames all his f— ups on other people. Then I said just do it. Stop talking about it your whole life and do it.”
Comments were mixed, with Redditors largely understanding why Thursdxy was frustrated, but saying that he needed a different approach if he wanted to help his friend.
“When you are medically overweight, there are many factors involved in the reason behind it. One thing I can tell you is that it’s more important to focus on getting him to enjoy moving rather than bringing him to a gym. Gyms are not for everyone,” one Redditor replied. They suggested going on walks instead, adding, “you are not going to take someone who is a couch potato and make them into a gym bro over night … I hope you can help your friend in a positive way for his sake and yours.”
The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now!
But that comment prompted another to defend Thursdxy: “How is this for OP’s sake? You’re telling him he has to take time from his own schedule to go out with his friend on walks while his friend is blaming him forgoing [exercise] and spreading lies about him to their friends.”
Another chimed in: “It’s not OPs responsibility to motivate his friend to work out. He’s tried to help several times already. “
Another Redditor looked at the situation from the gamer’s perspective, writing, “as a fellow fat person who is in the same situation, all the advice in the world won’t help. He needs help getting out of the house.”
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
While most Redditors pointed out that “Bottom line is, you can’t help someone who just doesn’t want to be helped,” quite a few took the stance of ESH (Everyone Sucks Here), as Thursdxy did cop to being “a bit rude.”